A Reawakening


(link to photo here https://www.pinterest.com/pin/24066179238990551/)

Sometimes it’s hard to see the end of things. Sometimes we think they’ll last forever, and when they do end we suddenly wish we could do it all over again. I don’t know what it is that makes us feel comfortable, but how much greater would over lives be if we never let ourselves get dragged into that hole of forgetfulness? Continue reading

Campus Life

Well, it’s week two of this semester, and things have been pretty okay. I’m working on this thing called routine. I’m not very good at it, but I guess that’s part of the journey of having a normal life. I have successfully left my apartment almost every single day so far, which for me is a huge accomplishment. I can tell my days are definitely better when I get out and spend some time around people, even if I never talk to them. Continue reading

Why I Left

Many of you know that I left home at a young age. It’s been hard for me to really explain what lead up to that point. I’ve been self-conscious, guilty and felt the need to justify it many times, even to myself. Many did not and still do not fully understand why I did what I did. I have also had a hard time accepting  the reality of my life circumstances.

However, I feel like I’ve grown a lot in the last month. Because of many trials in my life the past few years, I’ve gone through a bit of a rough patch with my testimony. I have never doubted my testimony, I’ve struggled to understand myself and therefore my relationship with Heavenly Father and Christ has suffered. It’s been very difficult, and a time of deep self-reflection and spiritual distress.

I know without a doubt that my trials have been tailored specifically for me. My Father in Heaven knows that nothing hurts my soul more deeply than hurting someone- especially those whom I love. Continue reading

I Am a Child of God

As a follow-up from my last post, I’d like to share my thoughts directly after I felt that gratitude and relief.

Tears began to collect, while as my heart was brimming with the promise of hope my throat caught  with fear. I’ve already asked what to me feels like an innumerable amount of times for him to take everything away. It makes my heart ache when I think about all of the prayers from sleepless nights where I’ve pleaded for relief and been told to carry the burden a little longer.

What I did not understand then and am just beginning to see is that I misinterpreted the words “endure a little longer” with “You’ve got to go on alone for a while”. Continue reading

He Will Heal You

Being a month from 19, I still consider myself to be little more than a child. And, like a child, I won’t stop asking questions until I find satisfactory answers. I am sure that I am not alone in my queries of: What is going on in my life? Why am I where I am? Where am I going? Such questions lead down a rabbit hole.

As I’ve been pondering my current life situation, Continue reading

Shame vs. Guilt

I’m sure we’ve all had a plenty of experiences where we’ve done something stupid and felt that flip in our stomaches that tells us bad consequences are coming. I feel it when I’m in the middle of some thoughtless words, when I’m clumsy, and lots of other typical things. When we make mistakes, we should be filled with guilt. Guilt is a healthy, normal thing that is required in order to progress. It helps us to know that we need to get back on the path to God, and that’s great. Guilt is like that pain you get when you burn your hand on something hot; it’s not to torture you, but to warn you that you are headed in unsafe territory. If you keep your hand on any longer, more damage will be done. Guilt is our safty net from further pain and error. It’s one of the beautiful gifts from God. I’m so grateful for this gift, as I need it quite often in order to prevent the repetition of certain mistakes.

Shame is something I do not find beautiful at all. Continue reading