A Reawakening

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(link to photo here https://www.pinterest.com/pin/24066179238990551/)

Sometimes it’s hard to see the end of things. Sometimes we think they’ll last forever, and when they do end we suddenly wish we could do it all over again. I don’t know what it is that makes us feel comfortable, but how much greater would over lives be if we never let ourselves get dragged into that hole of forgetfulness?

I’ve slowly been getting very comfortable, and I get mad at myself on the daily for not having the passion that I desire. If I could live every day like it’s the last, what a completely different person I would be. Unfortunately, I’m not going to stop being human anytime soon, so I’ll just have to learn to deal with the setbacks once in a while. But this doesn’t give me a good enough reason to quit.

We all have things that we like, dislikes, interests, and dreams. How often do we get comfortable with the way things are, promising ourselves that tomorrow is the day that things will change? Lest we fall prey to this lie, we’ve got to wake up! Why are we in this deep sleep when we all know we have something only we can bring to this world?

I’m hitting my head against a brick wall over here. I’m consumed by my desires but definitely still tied down by fear. There is only one answer to this problem, and as I’m taking the steps that I need to, I’m realizing that my passions really are a part of me for a reason. I can’t keep ignoring this prompting (because how can it be anything else?) inside of me and mercilessly let it die before my eyes.

This morning as I read my scriptures, my mind wandered to the writing of the Book of Mormon. How did it get to be here? After a short time of reflection, I was hit very hard with shock at my own casualness. How on earth can I hold such an ancient piece of history with such lackluster? How is it that it doesn’t consume my every moment?

This is my own personal wake up call (one of many, I might add) that I thought needed to be shared. I know who I am, I know God’s plan, and I’m continuing to move forward in the gospel. So, why do I do what I do, when I know what I know?

It’s not going to be as easy as flipping on a light switch. In fact, it’s going to be uphill, as usual. But I know that I cannot keep living life on autopilot. I’ve had plenty of “rest”; now I’m ready to return to the work. Only this time, I’m never going to stop.

Love, Annie

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